Middlebury Hearts Acronyms

We down south on rt. 7 like to start things a bit later than you yankees up north, so while everybody in Burlington was receiving syllabi and homework, over 400 Middlebury first-years kicked off their college careers through "MiddView" (MIDDlebury Volunteer Initiative Exploration and Wilderness).

This new program — it replaced the old "MOO" orientation, which consisted of wilderness and volunteer trips — offered a completely inclusive opportunity to get to know Vermont and surrounding communities through various excursions. After "the gauntlet", a tradition where all the leaders dress up as fools and scream at the uncomfortable freshman entering the hockey rink — similar to the SMC orientation tradition, minus the sexual innuendos — the M.V.P's (MiddView Participants...ahhh god!) set off.

Whether it was learning about Vermont's local music scene, helping out at a nursing home, hiking fifteen miles a day in the 'dacks or lake hopping from silver lake to Middlebury's Snow Bowl, the freshman awkwardly mingled in three fun-filled days they shall never forget. Or, at least something they'll remember better than the upcoming not-so-dry on-campus orientation...

UVM Gets Amethysted

Next Stop: Tequila and Tortillas at the Davis Center + Pong and Flip Cup in the Gutterson Arena!

UVM Student Government Association President Jay Taylor tells me that the SGA Senate passed their first bill of the new semester Tuesday night. And for once, the student government has done something that Catamounts may actually appreciate.

The bill supports the Amethyst Initiative, a petition signed by more than 100 university presidents who agree that we need to begin a national conversation about lowering the 21 drinking age. Pioneered here in Vermont by former Middlebury president John McCardell (see photo), the Amethyst Initiative gained national attention this summer as major college presidents from Tufts to Syracuse signed on.

An excerpt from their site:

Launched in July 2008, the Amethyst Initiative is made up of chancellors and presidents of universities and colleges across the United States. These higher education leaders have signed their names to a public statement that the 21 year-old drinking age is not working, and, specifically, that it has created a culture of dangerous binge drinking on their campuses.

UVM President Fogel has not yet signed the petition. Duh.

Ironically, the ancient Greeks believed the Amethyst, a purple stone, had the ability to prevent intoxication. I guess the Kegs and Eggs Initiative was taken. 

College students like to drink alcohol. People between 18 and 21 like to drink alcohol. On campus, off-campus, between on and off-campus — it's been that way since long before the drinking age was moved to 21. Maybe that's not a good enough reason for some. Perhaps changing the drinking age back to 18 is indeed a poor decision. But it's time that we on the front lines sit down and have an intelligent conversation about it. Isn't having honest debates part of what college is all about?   

That and illegally drinking obscene amounts of alcohol and engaging in reckless activities...

Photo by Matthew Thorsen, from "All Stirred Up," a profile of McCardell and his work in last year's Aug. 22 issue of Seven Days.

The Only Math You'll Need in College

Ok, so College Humor is loaded with deliciously entertaining tidbits about college — from orientation to everything after. This snippet delineates a few expert calculations, like the mathematical answer to the Golden Question: "How many pizzas should I order?" The other calculation offered is an equation that will help you determine when you can ditch that one annoying kid who has followed you around since that orientation activity in which you were unfortunately paired up.

My tip for you: Never, ever offer to pay for late-night delivery on your credit card. You won't see that money again. Trust.

The Best 368 Colleges: Mercifully, not as complicated as the BCS.

I haven't put much thought into The Princeton Review's Best 368 College Rankings since I've actually been in college, though they were helpful during the college selection process. But just for fun, I decided to take a look to see what lists St. Michael's had made it on this year. As it turns out, we're number four on the Town-Gown Relations are Great list.

Hold on a second.

SMC is located in this weird little extension of Colchester that's hardly even connected to the rest of the town — we've got the Winooski border up against one side of campus, and Essex on the other. Besides, I've not heard of students here going to Colchester for, well, anything. There's no real reason to go there unless you own an expensive house on Malletts Bay. So maybe The Princeton Review means that our school has great relations with the Burlington area as a whole? (Yeah! Take that, UVM! They like us more because we don't leave trails of destruction all over The Hill!)

Then again, I was at Old Spokes Home last week getting my bike repaired when I overheard somebody talking about how he couldn't go on his usual run at the Catamount Outdoor Center in Williston that day because the place was mobbed with two vans of "obnoxious St. Mike's kids" there for some kind of training. Great relations, indeed.

SMC also made the Best Quality of Life list, in 14th. This is because our school is full of happy drunks who really only require a 30-rack of Bud Light to consider their lives of high quality.

Elsewhere in the area, UVM unsurprisingly came in 15th on the Birkenstock-Wearing, Tree-Hugging, Clove-Smoking Vegetarians list, and 4th on the Reefer Madness list. Ah, just missed out on the medal podium for pot smoking, Catamounts. Feel free to refute (or confirm) your school's hippie stereotype in the comments section.

Those overachievers at Middlebury College made a whole bunch of lists. Seems appropriate that a school with great campus food would run like butter--ah, those clever Princeton Review wordsmiths! And you Middlebury folks really love your professors, huh?

Lastly, Champlain and Burlington Colleges didn't make any lists. Ouch.

The Ten Commandments of College

Now this is classic.

College Humor has re-posted The Ten Commandments of College, a list that I remember from my freshman year at St. Mike's all those years ago. It got me through the tough times when I didn't know what to do with all of my freedom.

My fave:

I- Thou Shalt Nap
And God gave unto Student a great gift, the gift of napping. God said to him, You shall spend half your day napping. You shall nap in class, in your room and in your friend's room. And God said, if you don't nap, you will not be able to stay up all night drinking. And Student said, Nap I shall, and it was good.

The others are a bit more scandalous, but just as true. From what I've heard, anyway.

Miss high school yet?

Judging from the ruckus that Burlington's various college students created this weekend in my neighborhood — and most likely will cause today on holiday — no one misses high school at all...yet. If you're a freshman, you probably shouldn't think about it, but more than likely you'll dwell just a little bit.

You'll get over it quite quickly, but for now, you have American Teen, an overtly (and overly) stylish documentary following 5 students in an Indiana high school as they finish up with their senior year. Parts of the film feel like takes lifted from the cutting room floor of MTV's superior True Life series, but you'll find yourself right at home in their stereotyped world of cliques, pom-poms and angst.

Since the limited release of the film — you can see it at the Palace 9 in South Burlington — there have been claims on various message boards that American Teen was staged. Come to think of it, you can even message the "stars" on Facebook, leading me to believe that some of the backlash might be closer to the truth than the actual film. Then again, it's smart marketing for the producers to turn these generic characters into Facebook archetypes. It just blurs the lines of realism. But seriously, was high school realistic to begin with?

Point-five!

Hey y'all. What's going on? My name is Maeve and I am a member of the Middlebury College class of 2009.5. You're probably all like, what is UP with this point-five business? Is she some sort of half person? No fools! In fact, it refers to this wicked cool program Middlebury offers known as the "Feb" program.

You see, the college allows a certain number of incoming freshman to defer their first semester to work, study abroad, save polar bears, cure cancer, etc. This means that each February a group of wide-eyed, overzealous 18-year olds enter the community just after an equal (or so) amount of 23-year olds, feeling way too old to still be in college, finally graduate. The thing is, many "febs" are just so excited to finally be in college that they — I guess, "we" — are known to try to be involved in EVERYTHING. It's pretty adorable, but at times a bit overwhelming. Spend a day in Middlebury, and you're guaranteed to hear the phrase "fucking feb" at least once...